Why I Write.

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all,” the wise words of Thumper’s father, from the movie Bambi.  These are words that I have been taught to live by, but this guidance has often resulted in my own exploitation.  When your conscience denies you the opportunity of “sticking it” to someone, it is highly likely that without an alternative form of relief, the malice will explode and splatter all over some innocent soul. Writing is my personal form of liberation.

My greatest ambition is to remain optimistic in every situation.  An unconscious habit of mine is to draw imaginary smiley-faces with my index finger on every surface.  It is something that personally drives me crazy when I become aware that I am doing it, but it has turned into an addiction that began all too long ago.  I practise the art of writing not merely to scribble down nasty insults that I should have uttered in a moment of conflict, but rather to contemplate on my feelings.  It is through this act that I am able to assure myself that it is not worthwhile to allow another to take up my time, feeling that way. 

Releasing the little demon in me is not the only reason for why I write.  Writing has the ability to listen to you in a way that a human being cannot or it may be you listening to yourself reflecting.  It is a way of checking up on yourself and receiving a dosage of strength to persevere. The pen the syringe, the ink the liquid drug and the page my veins.    It is a technique that is inexplicably able to mend numerous lesions. I write to deal with death, I write to engage with God, I write to etch images into my memory. 

I always answered “be an author” when elders asked what I wanted to make of my life.  Or in earlier years, the answer was “be an ‘authress’”.  A while back, my younger sister, Julianne, and I christened each other with the nicknames of “rat” and “slug” respectively.  Julianne has always been the artist and I, the writer, and so, it has always been a life goal of ours to create a series of novels entitled The Adventures of Rat and Slug.  Julianne, being the illustrator and I, the author, we would pair our personal passions together and create a story. 

 Julianne draws for the same reasons that I write; the primary motive being that it is ultimately her greatest form of release.  Whether it be to continue my life’s ambition to always see the brighter side of life or deal with bereavement; writing has never ceased in giving me that sense of elevation that I am searching for.